The teabagger bubble: Typical response to gay issues

On wedding cakes:

Teabagger: Business has a right to discriminate against anybody.

Gay:  Okay fine, I will own a business and I will fire anybody that does not agree with gay wedding cakes.

Teabagger: You fascist Moaist heterophobe! We have first Amendment right to a job while spouting anti-gay rage. If you want your own sodomite wedding cakes open up your own "GAY" bakery!

 Gay: Okay fine, I will open up my own bakery that only bakes for gay weddings.

 Teabagger: NO! You're making Jesus cry! Its an abomination! Stop shoving your lifestyle down our throats!

Gay: Fine I will bake my own wedding cake.

Teabagger: You're probably using Obama food stamps, I don't want my tax dollars (which I don't pay) going to subsidize sin... sooo NO!

Gay: No I will be using my own money that I got from working for your business.

Teabagger: I didn't know I had a sodomite working for me. You're FIRED! And its my first amendment right to fire anybody who disagrees with MY world view.

 On gay athletes coming out:

Teabagger: Can he just keep it to himself? Why do we need to know he packs fudge?

Gay: But he is just speaking out, like other athletes that speak about their religious beliefs and their personal lives.

Teabagger: He's just an Obama bot fascist communist pinko Maoist sodomite who is after my guns! This is just more gay propaganda!

 Gay: And Tebow was then just more 'Christian propaganda?'

 Teabagger: NO! He was doing what the Constitution tells him to do: love Jesus who invented Football! We Christians have a right to speak out against homosexual propaganda.

Gay: Is Jesus a man? That's strange. I thought a man loving another man was, you know, sin?

On gay marriage:

Teabagger: Marriage is for a man to marry a woman who was created by Jesus Christ for man's enjoyment. You homosexuals can call your "union" something else, but NOT marriage.

Gay: But doesn't the First amendment guarantee freedom of speech? Why can't I use the word "marriage." 

Teabagger: Because! ... It makes Jesus cry!

Gay: Okay fine, let's have civil unions.

Teabagger: NO! Its against our state Constitution...

Gay: But you said we can call our "marriage" something else.

Teabagger: GET OFF MY LAWN HOMO!!!